I’m trying so hard to catch my breath lately, but I can’t.

Following three weeks of solid sickness in this house and three solid weeks of husband travel, here we are. I am so tired. I’m tired of even saying I’m tired though. I just muddle through, one foot in front of the other. I read this great post this morning, and I’m feeling a little sad for the days when I had intention. I have none. Get everyone dressed and fed. Do all the necessary house-related things. Do it alone. Get kids in bed. Sit in a quiet house alone. Go to sleep. Feed baby one two three(?) times during the night. Get up. Do it again.  That’s pretty much where I am at the moment.  I know a season of intention will come again soon enough, but this month is not that time.

Yesterday was gloriously sunny, so we took advantage and got outside all afternoon.  It was good for all of us, I think.  For the most part though, it’s been either cold or rainy lately, and Jude has proclaimed his bed the place to play.  He piles up people, dog, and toys and sometimes calls it a boat, sometimes calls it a party.  Norah doesn’t complain.

We have contractors in and out this week and next.  New bathroom flooring, some odds and ends fixed, and new countertops are on the agenda.  We are selling our home, and it has been a hard decision to come to.  It’s a choice we played with for the past year or more, but we’ve finally decided to jump in with both feet.  I hope to write more about it soon, but I will let some things play out first.

When Jude was 9 months old, I quit my job.  Then we had some great memories and awesome family travel together.  Then Norah was born which is another big change.  Things are perfect in many ways, but a little stale in others and sometimes you can just feel like in your heart of hearts you know what you need to do and the time is right to do it.  But the bumps and hurdles to get to that place can be so tiring and time-consuming.  That’s where we are now.  I’m promising to write more soon when I can.

I’ll miss my porch so much.  But there are things I won’t miss, and I think a greater plan is at work here, so we are just hanging on to see how it ends.  It’s going to be good, friends!