Resurfacing

I’m slow on the posting these days.  It’s been a busy week.

Scott and I took a quick trip to New York for our anniversary this weekend.  We left Jude at home with grandparents which was a big deal to me.  I don’t know why it was, but it was.  I’m perfectly aware that there are some families who do baby sleepovers as early as a few months, and I am also perfectly aware that some of you reading this might not spend nights away from your little ones until they are more like kindergarteners or older.  Either way is fine, really.  Different ideas work for different families, and for mine, two little nights right before the two-year-old mark seemed like a good fit.

It’s funny though that you are never really off the clock as a mother.  No matter how far away you are, it creeps back in your head, wondering how he is or what he ate for lunch or if he’s been sleeping enough.  Obsession over details seems like both a genetic tendency for me and also an occupational hazard that comes with this job.

If I’m being honest, it wasn’t the lush baby-free vacation of my dreams.  I just don’t think I’m there yet in terms of really needing an extended break from him for my sanity’s sake, so I didn’t crave numerous days away from him like I crave a quick outing on my own.  It was nice to get away and be a grown-up without crushed crackers and baby wipes in my purse though.  I couldn’t help but think the city’s heat wave (heat indexes of something like 115!) was my fault.  Like God sent a distraction for me so that I really didn’t have time or brain energy to worry too much about Jude.  Friday was especially brutal, so we spent a lot of time at the Met to get out of the heat.  Not a bad plan at all, really.  Even with the droves of other tourists with the same idea, it was still the Met and still lovely.  We also managed to see “War Horse” which was incredible and have a lovely dinner at Jean Georges which totaled something like three weeks of our usual grocery bill, but it might have been worth it.  Saturday morning’s temperatures were a lot better, and we strolled Chinatown enjoying colorful shops and dim sum and hunting for taro bubble tea.

New York City is such fun for a short period of time for me, but it’s not a city that sings to me, so to speak.  I think I’m too slow or something.  I love Paris with its two-hour lunches and lazy riverside strolling, and I think I could live happily in some quaint little English town, but NYC is fun for me only because it is so far from my usual self, so different from what I really am.

Of course when we first got home, I was aching to see my little one, and he’s all, “Oh hey, mom.  Didn’t realize you were gone that long.  Can you pass me that graham cracker please?”  Good thing I gave birth to you rather strenuously, fed you from my own body for sixteen months, wipe your ass numerous times a day, and tuck you in every night and now you hardly notice my absence.

But then we settled in for the night, and he wouldn’t stop doing that half-hugging, half-clobbering thing that toddler boys do and he asked me to lie down next to him as he fell asleep yesterday afternoon and then again today which hasn’t happened in ages.  So maybe he missed me after all.  Either way I am happy to be home to my cluttered house and million unfinished craft projects and messy dogs.  Real life is calling with a lot of tasks this week, and it feels good for a change.  Busy week ahead here.  Catching up with friends three separate times this week and looking forward to it.  My teacher friends head back to the classroom soon, so we are cramming in a few last get-togethers.

Spotify is also a tempting distraction for me these day, by the way.  Have you seen it?  It’s a free music streaming website, and I can get lost there for hours.  It’s a fun way to share music with friends and discover new sounds.  My current favorite playlist is full of songs I don’t entirely understand like this one and this one.  So fun.

Happy Monday!  Good days ahead.

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2 thoughts on “Resurfacing

  1. I’ve only spent 24 hrs away from Atticus and we were only a quick 45 minute drive away. In August I’m a bridesmaid in a TN wedding I have to leave Atticus for 2 nights and 3 days. I’m miserable with anxiety. He’ll be with Daddy and the co-parent and grandparents have volunteered to help, but I’m still so nervous.

  2. Stephanie

    Haha! I totally feel you. We took some time away this month, and Madelyn didn’t even want to go to me when we got home. But she too was extra needy and lovey the first few days I was back. They really do miss us despite their reactions when we return.

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