fresh start

Quiet house this morning.  Husband is gone to work.  Baby sleeping.  I’ve enjoyed a shower and coffee already.

I love new pages. Whether it’s an unwritten journal, a new book, a new day, or a new year.  Beginnings are good things.

2010 was such a good year for me. Looking back from about 2004 onward, it really seems like each year gets better and better.  I hope know that trend will continue, and I’m genuinely excited to see what 2011 brings.  So now the decorations are put away, the Christmas cakes and candies are [almost] gone from the kitchen, and it’s time to get back to real life after the holiday rush.  I love the holidays, but real life feels good too sometimes.

Regardless of my difficulty keeping them, I make resolutions every year.  I like that the fresh calendar inspires all of us to do better and be better in the coming months, and – this year especially – I have a lot to work on.

I love my job as a full-time mom, and I cherish 2010 as the year I was able to let go of professional responsibilities and focus on motherhood as my most important occupation.  That said, it’s a job like any other in that there is a learning curve and it can take time to discover what works for you and what your home and family needs.  I’ve spent the past 6 months flirting with a ot of different routines and ideas and not really committing to any of them for any length of time.  To add to the challenge, at this age, Jude changes every single day and what we are able to do together changes as  a result.  Much of my 2011 resolutions have to do with this.  I want to be an intentional and purposeful mother and create a home that is really a place of shelter – both figuratively and literally – from the world outside my family.  It’s so hard to look at the big picture and not get overwhelmed and bogged-down with the everyday things, but here’s what I have realized:  Those everyday tasks add up to the big picture I’m trying to create. The little things ARE the big thing.

As a feminist, I run from phrases like “make your home a haven” and anything that encourages me to be  good homemaker for the sake of my husband who should never see the hard parts of my day, only the vacuumed carpets and the freshly-set dinner table.  But in all seriousness and honesty, one of my New Year’s resolutions last year was to become more reliably organized and I feel as though my life now is more chaotic and unorganized than ever.  And now my home is not just somewhere I sleep and eat.  It’s somewhere I live.  Somewhere I raise my son.  In a sense, it is now somewhere I work.  So this year?  This year I resolve once again to get organized, but this time it’s more than that.  I hope to make monthly resolutions that become habits and make my home one I love to be in, one my family loves as well.  For now, I am trying out The Fly Lady, and her humorous little tips and reminders are making me laugh.  For the month of January, I’m resolving 2 household things:  scrub and shine my sink every night and complete one load of laundry a day (not including diapers) put up and wrinkle-free.  I’m hoping to create some habits around here and my spastic household cleaning schedule is no longer working for me.

I can't help but laugh at this photo. NOT MY LIFE right now. Not at all.

Life would be pretty boring if household chores were my only resolutions though, so I’ve got some other things I want to work on, too!  I LOVE creating things – all sorts of things.  I’ve made cards, both paper and digital scrapbooks, crocheted, cross-stitched, sewn, etc. etc.  Now I never seem to finish a project though and end up feeling like a mess with half a dozen undone things around here.  And I love the “me” time of crafting and love a finished project, so why are there so many undone things in my life?  I’m resolving to create one thing a month from start to finish.  Just one.  It might be something little (probably will be tiny more often than not), but creating something feel so good, and I miss it.

In addition to those two, there are a few other things floating around in my head – to read more (which is easier now with my new Kindle!!), continue on our “real food” journey with more whole nourishment and less processed junk, make connections and stay connected with mama friends, continue last year’s resolution that actually stuck and keep on with the budgeting, simplifying, and saving.  All in all, I’ve got lots to work on.

There’s an Anne Frank passage from her diary where she says, “”How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day.”  God knows the events of her day were so much heavier than the events of mine, but as always, her positivity and ability to simplify things are so inspiring.

I want to be a better me.

What are your resolutions this year?

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One thought on “fresh start

  1. Pingback: resolving « Mama the Reader

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